Crocodile Hunter, Star Trek, Las Vegas, Cheesecake, Haircut.

In an effort to drive more traffic to my blog, I have decided to post more eye-catching (and search engine-friendly) subject headings. Today was simply a summation of the topics to be covered herein, but in the future they might actually be more poetic. Also, if you have any suggested topics for me, please list them in the comments section. I might write better on assignment anyway.

Steve Irwin has always reminded me of my eighth grade science teacher Mr. Zuidland. He was an Australian bloke who sorta threw himself at the subject a little more than the next most enthusiastic person. To the extent that any interest we might have had in the science alone would be overshadowed by the bizarre behavior of our teacher – much like The Crocodile Hunter and his expeditions.

Mr. Zuidland had the clichéd, humorously over-the-top Australian accent like the Crocodile Hunter, and he used strange “Australian words” like fortnight and lift. He would say the word beaker “beek-uhh” and never “nevuh.” Mostly, though, Mr. Zuidland had horrendous body odor.

It took me a long time to get over my preconceived notion that all Aussies stink like Mr. Zuidland. I’m not saying, nor do I mean to imply, that the Crocodile Hunter broke me of this particular idea, but I will say that having a wily khaki-clad wild animal wrestler to entertain me on my TV screen sure did ease my reservations about ever getting stuck in an elevator or steam room with an Australian citizen.

My one true moment of B.O.-related disgust came during a lab experiment in the classroom. I can’t remember what we were doing, exactly, but the lab involved rocks, sand and a telescope. My lab group is completing the assignment at a nice clip. For once, I am understanding what the heck it is we are supposed to be learning from the experiment (I was too right-brained even in 8th grade). We are so far ahead of the rest of the class that when Mr. Zuidland comes over, he is puzzled by our progress. Believing we had conducted the lab in error, he reminds us, by slamming his palms down on our lab table (really just four desks turned into each other), looking me straight in the eyes and saying, “Yow suppos’d to put rocks ‘n sand in there.” And then, for reasons I can’t even begin to understand to this day, Mr. Zuidland LAUGHS at us, but laughs by moving his head around the whole table, essentially laughing in our faces, spraying us with his horrendous, HORRENDOUS, HORRENDOUS! breath.

Before he even walked away, the four of us burst into laughter. The tears that soon followed were the result of his combined bizarreness and stench.

Anyway, Mr. Zuidland was the block I carried into my first viewing of Steve Irwin as the Crocodile Hunter. As my resistance to Aussies eased I came to respect the man for what he did. Ultimately, he served to entertain us. But his appreciation for the wildlife he seemingly pissed off on a daily basis always came through. If his actions inspired even a dozen kids to appreciate wildlife, to nurture it, then the man has a legacy that goes far beyond clichéd buffoonery. To leave behind a legacy is the only way we human beings can live forever on this Earth. He has also left behind two beautiful children, too young to ever really understand who he is. I can relate to this. But his children will always be able to watch their dad and, at least, come to know the love and affection for nature that he now leaves with us.

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Who knew that the desert could be so hot?

Over the Labor Day holiday, I trekked with my girlfriend to Las Vegas. While there, I dragged her to Star Trek: The Experience at the Hilton. Suffice it to say, I nerded out quite a bit. I got to stand on the bridge of the Enterprise. If you don’t think that’s awesome well, then… I can’t blame you. It’s pretty dorky.

Having now been to The Experience, I can’t help but think that I could have designed it better.
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I had the good fortune of eating a GIANT CHEESECAKE from the New York Deli in Caesar’s Palace. It’s the most I’ve ever paid for a slice of my favorite ‘cake ($8.00), but it was definitely worth it. That motherdonker was ginormous, creamy and topped with strawberries. A perfect dessert to end a fantastic weekend. You can check out a picture of this giant cheesecake on the forthcoming Big Food Blog.
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Finally…

After a weekend in Vegas, rent, and a hefty payment towards my financed desktop, I woke up this morning to a negative balance in my account. My on-line ledger had three items clear today that I had already counted as clearing two weeks ago. These three items appeared on my ledger and then disappeared, only to be re-charged again. I’m only a little upset that this happened (it’s happened before), but what gets me really mad is that Karma has reared her Ying-Yangy head as retribution for my last post. The one item I did not account for properly that finally cleared this morning was my haircut from the Iranian woman.