Laughing About Love.

I owe my humble readership a discussion on my short script, Thine Own Self, if only because I promised one a month ago when I put up my last post. I will get to that discussion another time. I don’t really want to talk about that story.

Instead, I’d like to talk about snakes. No. I just did that. Okay. Forget that. Instead of snakes, why not… umm, love?

Love. Wow. That’s a complicated topic. Vague, too. Maybe not love. Maybe relationships? Nah. Too complex. My girlfriend? Well, she’s complex, too. But, I do know my relationship with her better than the topic of relationships. That’s a good point, me. I think I’ll write about my relationship with my girlfriend. But I’ll keep it brief so as to be less gushy.

Why less gushy? Because she’s great. She continues to surprise me and the more I learn about her, the more I like. I think she was sent to this planet from another world. Or, at the very least, she grew up in some part of this world with which I am not familiar. She’s just different.

I’m still the same dopey, schlubby, awkward and problem-causing guy, though. In my efforts to corner my feelings, cram them into a glass case of emotion where they should be observed and not explored, and use comedy as a means of deflecting deeper issues, I’ve gone so far as to nickname my girlfriend WomanWhoIsMakingASeriousCasetobeMyWife. I like the unnecessarily lengthy handle, but it’s problematic for a variety of reasons, chief among them:

• It sort of implies that I am examining her like a judge or jury, looking for facts and other details that will lead me to the judgment that she ought to be my wife.
• It’s not a nickname intended for her. It’s a cheap and easy way for me to describe how I feel about her to other people. She deserves better than cheap and easy anything.
• It runs the risk of lessening the impact of how I feel/how she knows I feel about her/how others perceive how I feel about her by kind of turning my feelings into a punchline.

That I’m even discussing this ON MY BLOG is problematic. But a part of me thinks that by putting myself on blast (it’s a slang term; I only slightly know what it means) that I can change it. Change what exactly, I’m not sure. I will say this: I laugh at this label on the surface, because I think it’s a little bit funny, because it’s so clunky. But my feelings for her are not clunky. I am not looking to rush our relationship, not even a little bit. I can honestly say that there’s just something completely special about her. And I like that. I love that. I like her kind of surprises.

On the other hand, I’m still the guy I’ve always been. As many of you know, that could be most problematic of all.