Heat Strokes.

I tried posting to the blog twice this weekend, but each time it melted.

But, seriously, folks, it was so hot I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating when I looked at this picture that a friend of mine forwarded to me. It’s of Monster House director Gil Kenan and Sony Pictures Chairwoman Amy Pascal, and I must say...

Gil Kenan looks exactly like me, to 90% accuracy.

I was shocked. Usually, people will send me a picture with the message, “Dude, this totally looks like you” and the person never does. I like to think that I cannot be duplicated; only imitated. Yet, here I find a man who bears more than a passing resemblance, graduated from UCLA and is now making movies with Steven Spielberg and Robert Zemeckis. Either he stole the life I always wanted, or I’ve been chasing the life he’s been living.

Know this, Gil Kenan: my hair is better than yours.

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Clerks II is good, but not great. Not Superman Returns good; Clerks II is much, much better.

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Musical suggestion: Don’t Stand So Close to Me by The Police. Awesomely inappropriate.

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THINE OWN SELF. Yikes. Is this crappy melodrama almost over? Wednesday will wrap up the loose ends this next bit creates. What happens when two sexually irresponsible people try to force intimacy? Prostitutes, that’s what!

INT. RACHEL'S BEDROOM - THAT NIGHT

Paul and Rachel are on her bed, kissing. She starts to
unzip his pants. He stops her.

PAUL
I don't really feel like it tonight,
Rachel.

RACHEL
Really?

PAUL
Really. Let's just lay here.

RACHEL
Okay.

She rests her head on his chest. He gently caresses
her hair.

RACHEL
You sure you don't want to fuck me?

PAUL
Positive.

RACHEL
So... why not?

PAUL
Bad day.

RACHEL
I know. Me too. But, what if I
could distract you?

PAUL
I doubt you could.


RACHEL
Can I try?

PAUL
(sighs)
If you must.

Rachel jumps up off the bed.

RACHEL
Come on. Let's go for a ride.

Paul slowly rises.

PAUL
Where to?

RACHEL
You'll see.

She leads him out of the room.

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT

Rachel's van drives by.

INT. VAN - SAME

Rachel is glancing the street corners quite intently.

RACHEL
No...

PAUL
What are you looking for?

RACHEL
You'll see. No...

She turns the car. The van pulls up next to a group of women who are obviously PROSTITUTES. Rachel rolls down the window.

RACHEL
Hey, girls. What's up?

PROSTITUTE #1
Nothing much. How about you?

RACHEL
I'm looking for a cub. Blonde.
Small tits. Any around?

PROSTITUTE #2
Yeah, sure there is.

PAUL
What the hell are you doing?

Rachel leans over and kisses him.

RACHEL
Your fantasy, remember?
(to PROSTITUTES)
How much?

PROSTITUTE #1
Hourly of a hundred.

RACHEL
Cool. I'm down. Where is she?

A petite blonde girl, HOLLY, emerges from the group. She is no older than eighteen.

RACHEL
You're a cutie!

HOLLY
Thanks.

RACHEL
Hop in.

Holly walks over and opens the side door. She climbs into the van.

RACHEL
Hey, cutie pie! Thanks for coming
along.

HOLLY
Sure.

Rachel pulls away from the corner.

PAUL
What are you doing? She's a prostitute!

RACHEL
So?