The 40 Year Old Star Trek

I got chicken pox in the 4th grade. During my time away from school, my dad and I would watch Star Trek at night. Every weeknight at 11:30 was the repeats of The Next Generation (the one with the dude from X-Men). The very first episode I ever saw was called “Remember Me,” and it involved all of the crew disappearing one by one until the only person left is Dr. Crusher.

The episode’s title has added significance for me. You see, my dad died eight months after I saw the show for the first time. It was the last thing we ever bonded over. In fact, my foggy recollection seems to indicate that Star Trek was the only thing we ever bonded over.

My dad committed suicide after a life of depression. It has been a challenge to hold his memory in high regard because he ultimately chose the route of the poorer man, leaving his son to figure out how to be a better one. But whenever I have doubts about him, I try to recall good memories. Invariably, something Star Trek-related comes up. In the short time that we both watched it, he made me a costume (super, uber-dorky, I know) and basically talked to me about the show. We were both excited to watch it during my chicken pox days and that was genuinely the last thing that we were both excited about together.

He was a baseball player – a damned good one – in his day. I was not, nor have I ever been. To his credit, he shunned his upbringing and did not push the sports on me. He just wanted me to be my own person. Ultimately, I’m brain and not brawn. He wasn’t alive long enough for me to enter my teenage years and feel embarrassed/disappointed/resentful that I could not live up to the physical gifts that the male Murphs possess so I can say that I’ve been able to look back at that aspect of my life without anger. Conversely, because of Star Trek I have a positive memory of my father. I’d call that a miracle.

And after his death and through the funeral and the rough transition from a two-parent to single-parent household, Star Trek was there to cushion the blow. I immersed myself in its science fictiony protection and no one ever bothered to yank me from it. My family understood the dynamic it created between me and dad while at school I was able to convert or find other young Star Trekkers. I nerded out A LOT in my youth, and I am not ashamed.

I can tell you the name of any episode of Next Gen just by glimpsing a single frame of footage. I *used* to know the names of every episode of that show. I have been to a Star Trek convention, I did sneak onto the bridge of the Enterprise when I worked at Paramount, I did get most of the toys for Christmas, and I do have an autographed portrait of Captain Picard.

Star Trek is ultimately about the hope for a better tomorrow through discovery. There are millions of Star Trek fans on this earth. Obviously, the message comes through loud and clear, even if the messengers are sometimes poorly written, acted and directed (Voyager, Enterprise, and Nemesis I’m looking at you). I’m proud to be a part of this fandom and I’m glad that we can all celebrate a 40th Anniversary for a show that has touched so many lives.

Thanks, Dad.