When You Can't Write, Make A List.

In honor of my lack of imagination, I'm listing my top 5 TV shows currently on the air. This is based on their must-watch factor.

5. The Simpsons.

Still funny after 80 years. Not as funny as say, Family Guy or The Daily Show, but most of us have grown up with these characters and they’re like family to us. A lot of the sloppy writing in these later years can be explained as simply relying on the audience’s knowledge of previous character bits, callbacks, etc. But The Simpson's still love each other and they’re a complete family. Likewise, the City of Springfield is a fully-realized one. Family Guy, for all its comedy strengths, can’t say the same. (Sundays, 8:00PM. FOX)

4. The Office.

I loved Steve Carell on The Daily Show. Loved him in Bruce Almighty. But when I saw the ads for The 40 Year Old Virgin, I crossed my arms and refused to believe that he could be a leading man. Similarly, when NBC announced they were going to forcibly remove from the bedroom of our minds’ the beautiful sleeping baby that was the BBC’s The Office and stick Carell in as Rickey Gervais’ replacement, I crossed my arms and kicked a puppy. But now the show is #4 on my appointment TV depth chart, and for good reason. It’s hilarious. Not hah-hah funny, but THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN funny. And it keeps getting better. And, much like the Simpsons, it’s starting to fully-realize its world, and every character is beginning to become multi-dimensional. Carell is great, but Rainn Wilson is better. Dwight is just… that guy makes me laugh. Watch the damn show before it goes the way of Arrested Development. (Thursdays, 8:30PM. NBC)

3. House.

Did you know Hugh Laurie’s British? Seriously. Can’t tell here, though. I am not a big procedural guy. I’m not a big medical show guy, either. But House has character, no heart, and zingers the likes of which we might never see again. Best exchange of the series thus far:

CAMERON
How would you like it if somebody stuck a 12-inch
hose up your butt?

HOUSE
I suddenly have respect for the basketball player you
dated in college.

A very entertaining 39:19 of television week in and week out. The supporting characters are great, but mainly, House is the reason you watch. (Tuesdays, 9:00PM. FOX)


2. Veronica Mars.

Kristen Bell is hot. Just thought I’d get that out of the way. But she’s not the reason I started watching the show. The incessant postings of internet message board peeps finally cajoled me into checking out this show halfway through its first season. I’ve been hooked ever since. It’s a weekly mystery wrapped up in a season-long mystery and the lead is a hot, petite blonde chick named Veronica. The obnoxious photographer guy from Just Shoot Me plays her dad, but he’s awesome here. Check it out on the new CW this fall. (Tuesdays, 9:00PM. The CW)

1. Boston Legal.

The Shatner and The Spader. Pick and roll with these two all night long. They’re unstoppable. It’s about the law… sort of. It’s about unethical lawyers battling one another… sort of. It’s about the wacky clients of the firm Crane, Poole & Schmidt… sort of. Really, the whole thing is about Denny Crane (The Shatner) and everybody else just revolves around his enormous, gassy star. So over-the-top ridiculous and then so utterly melodramatic, but I can’t help but watch it.
(Tuesdays, 10:00PM. ABC)