Be Careful What You Script For.

I’m working on a major motion picture these days, hence, the lack of updates. While the 13-hour days are proving to be taxing to my small, sexy frame, I am really enjoying myself. My mistakes have been minimal up to this point, and while I look forward to never making any, I know that my position as a production assistant will afford me too many opportunities to make mistakes that the mathematics will force my errors.

Okay, it wasn’t fair to blame mathematics just there. I’m also clumsy, forgetful, and terrified of working on a major motion picture. Those components are more likely to cause mistakes than would good ol’ arithmetic. But it’s comforting and, more importantly, American (oh god, this link is friggin' awesome), to blame what I don’t understand.

But I’m learning about what it means to work production on a movie. Those who know me know my interest is in writing, specifically for television. So, working in production is completely not the right track for me to be on. But I’m on a major motion picture and learning something new every day. People talk about how great the crew is on a production, and it’s absolutely true.

If I ever sell a script or something that I write goes into actual production, here’s a quick and dirty idea of what happens:

Departments are formed to break down my script.

Transportation works out how to get the stars and sets to the Locations that are scouted for during pre-production, where the producers and directors pour over every inch of the script, tightening it and storyboarding all of the action sequences. Costumers dress every character for every scene in the movie. There are music meetings and clearance meetings and lunches, oh god, the lunches.

I am just a simple production assistant. For those who don’t know or didn’t care before, a production assistant literally assists everyone and everything involved/involving the production. If the assistant to the directors needs a new shoelace, I go pick one up. If somebody needs me to take some boots down to props at the end of the lot, I jog it down.

One key adjustment I have had to make is recognizing that I’m no longer a part of the creative process. Just last week I was working for one of the production companies involved with the movie and I gave notes on script revisions and ideas for improvement. I knew about a lot of the movie from an overall standpoint, and now I am in a focused, closed-off environment, where the information flow is restricted to a “need-to-know” basis. It’s been an odd adjustment.

This is every bit the office environment. I don’t know who I am yet. I’m hoping I’m not Ryan. His deadpans are far better than mine.

If you’re not watching The Office on NBC, then you are guilty of being anhedonic.