The Feel Good Story to Follow the Feel Bad One.

If you follow the link to the right of this post and visit TV writer Jane Espenson's blog, you'll find that she helps her readers (aspiring TV writers in their own right) with story structure and helpful hints for writing a script. A couple of weeks ago she suggested that writers sometimes look at bad examples of writing as a way of bolstering self-esteem, a particularly helpful way of keeping one's self sane through the process.

Well, here's my esteem-bolstering script excerpt, courtesy of MyNetwork TV's new series, Watch Over Me.

Here's the simple setup: Michael Krieger is a wealthy man involved in the medical research industry. He has some grand scheme that we don't know anything about right now, but we do know that he wants a particular researcher on his Evil Project. One of his Evil Cohorts is a Senator, one who controls the desired scientist's research fund, so, Michael Krieger pulls some strings. In this scene, the Senator has just met face-to-face with the reluctant research scientist, to see for himself the guy's reluctance to work for Krieger:

KRIEGER: Well, Senator?

SENATOR: Dr. Rivera stonewalled. He actually cut the meeting short. Saw right through me. Do we even need him involved in our operation, Michael?

K: Dr. Rivera has the kind of visionary mind we need. Only he can perfect the virus. And that virus is the key to our success. Let’s not forget we’re trying to change the world here, Senator.

S: Hmm. Is that what you call it, Michael? Some would call it treason. Others might call it madness.

K: I call it profit. Billions in profit. You’re not getting cold feet on me now, are you Senator?

S: No.

K: Good. Selling death requires backbone and I hope you have it. I was hoping Alfred wouldn’t be so difficult, but it seems he’s forced my hand. (Beat) Cut his funding.

S: I’ll take care of it. (beat) Is Julia aware that you’re having me destroy her father’s career?

K: Julia knows nothing, and it’s going to stay that way. Kill his grants. Leave him penniless. He’ll have to come to me.

S: I’ll do it.

K: (to his assistant) Expect a call from Dr. Rivera soon. (beat) Oh, and Leandra, he won’t be happy.

Duh duh DUHHHHHH.

Awesome. So arch, so unnecessarily over the top. I used to write like this when I wrote Star Trek episodes back in eighth grade and high school.

Enjoy your weekend!