NFL Substance Ban Lacks Substance.

Possibly the worst title I’ve ever come up with, but if you look at previous posts, you might find a worthy adversary. One of my college short screenplays was titled, Surrogate Angel, and that at least ties today’s post heading. I was inspired to write about the following bit of sports’ news:

The Saints suffered a big blow to their defense Tuesday when they found out defensive tackle Hollis Thomas, who is having a career year, is being suspended for four games because he violated the league's steroid policy due to asthma medication he takes.

[Source: ESPN.com]

Hollis, for the record, is 335 pounds and struggles to keep his weight down. He doesn’t have the bulging physique a person commonly thought to be on steroids has. No, he’s a fatty. And his asthma medication (Advair, among others) contains steroids.

So the slave owners known as the NFL has decided to suspend the guy four games.

Zero tolerance means you literally have to kill yourself to play in a football game so that red-blooded Americans can inappropriately cheer your death and use it as an example to their fat children of how to “play the game the right way.” Or something.

Never mind that Mr. Thomas is going to probably die of a massive heart attack fifteen to twenty years after he retires or that he will suffer from any number of physical ailments after giving his all to the game. Probably the effects of concussions, bad knees, and… well… anything else you can associate with being hit, taking painkillers and treating your body like a tank for 10+ years. The NFL really doesn’t give a flying shit about the health of its players, neither while in the league nor upon their retirement. They just want to ride these money trains until they derail.

Bravo, assholes.

And let me be clear about where I stand on the subject of steroids and performance enhancers in professional sports: I pretty much don’t care. Not at this point.

Oh, there was a time when I was on board with the stance that it’s cheating and it somehow takes away from watching human beings accomplish amazing things with their bodies. But the more I saw that the pros are just a business like anything else, the less concerned with the integrity of the game I became.

If owners are willing to let their players die to make money, then why shouldn’t a player do whatever he or she can do to make their own money?

Parents deride athletes for being poor role models, okay, but I really see this like actors and actresses who get plastic surgery to maintain their looks. The players are trying to maximize their earnings by keeping their productivity at a high level. Barry Bonds wants to use every last strand of his DNA to play the best baseball his body is capable of playing… so he can make a lot of money and, to a lesser extent, cement his place in the firmament of Baseball Greatness. The Giants want Bonds physical performance to put butts in the stands so’s they can get their money. Fine.

Quarterbacks become addicted to painkillers and basketball players suffer liver failure just to play the game to get their money, because the team is going to continue to profit off of their performance anyway, so they might as well do whatever they can to earn that next paycheck.

It ain’t pretty, but that’s the way it is.

But none of this argument even touches on what happened with Hollis Thomas. He’s asthmatic! He NEEDS the medication to frakking breathe! But, the NFL says you can’t use it.

The article says the league even took the information concerning the medication under advisement when formulating its ruling, and it still suspended the guy.

It’s not enough for these shitbags that guys are risking their lives so that they can jet around the globe buying up property and earning money off the work of others. No, those guys have to die.