The Beard.

My beard is the longest it’s ever been. I am somewhere between House and a caveman. The reason for my lax grooming is simple: I’ve yet to buy a new razor. As most of you know, I am a lazy bastard.

It’s been an odd growth journey, though. I didn’t really seem to mind the hair for a while, but now the pointy stuff scratches my skin whenever I move any part of my face, particularly when I talk. Thankfully, I don’t have to talk at work. Ever.

I work for yet another internet company. I believe I have worked for every major internet company that serves the entertainment industry. This job, though, has a lot more perks: benefits, sick leave, and a salary – you know, a real job. And the kicker? I get to sit on my amply growing ass and watch TV all day.

Problem is, I don’t get to talk very much. Pretty much only whenever I have a question regarding the database. Beyond that, I sit in a dark office in front of a computer screen and a television screen for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. There is no sunlight. There is no God.

Okay, that last bit was overly dramatic, but I think there’s a corollary between my beard and this dark, forsaken place. Darkness breeds darkness. Silence breads insanity. This isn’t the first job where I’ve left at the end of the day feeling socially disconnected. It’s hard for me to want to talk once I get home. The lack of human contact for a lengthy day carries over to everything else. But, I do get to watch TV at work.

The beard ensures I will remain disconnected from people because it looks scary. It’s a well-known formula: Dark features + black beard = scary terrorist-looking dude.

*****

I just want to put this out there, so that all of you know where I stand on them: I hate the band Blue October. I hate them so very, very much.

I’ve searched my feelings on the subject and I’ve concluded that the singer’s voice is grating to me; it sounds like he’s trying to sound the way he does. Sure, every lead singer has an act to make his/her voice sound distinctive (Brandon Flowers of the Killers has to work overtime just to sound like a halfway decent singer) but this guy, whoever he is, sounds like a tool. Also, I don’t like the way their music is produced. Something with the audio mix. His voice sounds separated from the music, like he wasn’t actually in the studio while it was happening. The mix of voice and music just isn’t natural to me, and it drives me frakking nuts. In any case, I hate Blue October.

*****
The only Tears for Fears song I hear nowadays (particularly on the XM) is Head Over Heels. Thanks a lot, Donnie Darko. Your slightly unique but ridiculously over-hyped time-synched sequence done as a faux montage to this song to set up the mundane world that surrounds the detached “protagonist” (capably played by Jake Gyllenhall) has seduced “young,” “hip” program directors to play only this Tears for Fears song in order to appeal to the trendy/hipster youth demo you pray listen to your station(s). Guh.

I will confess relative ignorance about Tears for Fears’ catalogue, but I know they have one or two more popular hits besides Head Over Heels. Everybody Wants to Rule the World immediately comes to mind. Shout is another. Though I like that one less.

In any case, my beard is too long, Blue October sucks, Tears for Fears is a good band and the movie Borat will rock.